Retreat

Happy Sunday! It’s a dull day outside today, but it is a retreat day for me, so a nice cup of tea, purring cats and quiet music accompany my quiet contemplation of my upcoming ordination.  It is a time to reflect on my direction and what it all means to me.

I’m taking a break and blogging at the moment, because the washer and dryer are a distraction, so I shall fill the time with chores, until the house is quiet again.

Last night, I even hauled the tarot cards to see what they would tell me.  I am not a tarot card reader per se, but I was given a set some years ago and every now and then I get them out to see what they tell me.  I just did the three card reading--perhaps I will do a full reading tomorrow, when I have some quiet time before Cavan returns from his conference weekend.  Last night, I drew the three cards which show past present and future.  I don’t remember what the card for the past was, but then it’s in the past anyway, isn’t it?  The present card was ‘sorrow.’  Hm, that could mean lots of things that I haven’t really dug into yet, but the card for the future was ‘victory.’ Well, that’s impressive.

So, victory I am taking as I am going in the right direction. In addition to my upcoming ordination for deacon, I have a few other things lined up.  I am committing to the priest course. It has a lot more reading, but reading is one of my favorite things to do.  That ordination will be in June and with the liturgical calendar, the color is red, so my chasuble will be red--my favorite color-- it must be a sign!  As a deacon, I will wear a dalmatic and the color in the liturgical calendar for this upcoming ordination is white.

Also lined up, I have some connections locally.  I have always been drawn to the aged.  My closest friend is 90, though, and yet I don’t consider her to be old.  She is more mobile than me and, I have discovered that every night she does toe touches and can actually still put her hands flat on the floor!  I can only get my knuckles on the floor.

There is an Extendicare facility just down the street from me and I have been in contact with the administrator there.  There are no paying positions, but I can work as a volunteer.  I have also been in discussion with Northumberland Community Care and they have friendly visitors, where I can visit with seniors in their homes.  They also have hospice training, where I can be trained to visit people who are near the end of their life, and hopefully, offer some support, if only to hold their hand for a little while or listen to their stories.

I remember when my mom was nearing the end, much of my family was at the hospital, but while I was there, I was the only one sitting close to  her and holding her hand.  I hope it was of some comfort.  I still feel badly that I wasn’t there when she actually passed, but I had driven for five hours to get to her and I had to sleep.  When I got the call, I did return to the hospital and kissed her goodbye on her forehead.  I did the same with Cavan’s father.  I know that some people have difficulty with dead bodies, but to me, it is just the vessel that held their spirit while they were here.  Nothing to be afraid of.

This will be my victory--to be able to offer even a little comfort to the forgotten in long term care homes and hospices.  It’s selfish really, because it will make me happy.  I pray that it will also offer some comfort to those I shall have the pleasure of meeting.  I welcome their stories.  People have such amazing lives.

Well, dear friends, I hope that you find your victory in life and that you won’t be near 60 years old like I am, when you find it!  God bless!

Let Go and Let God

Happy Sunday, dear friends! It’s a rainy Sunday here in the resort town of Cobourg--a day for rest and reflection, it seems.

I have been kind of wound up for a few days about money.  It seems a recurring thing in my life.  I don’t spend money on expensive clothes, or vacations, or anything like that, but I rarely seem to have enough to make ends meet.  It has been that way for much of my adult life.

I started going through online job ads, but I have to confess that I’m not capable of doing much anymore.  I was spoiled at Enbridge.  I worked mostly from home, so I didn’t have the stressful drive, I mostly just attended meetings and provided reports and advice.  It was easy and I was paid well for it.

When they let me go, I had a fair settlement, that allowed me to dig myself out of debt entirely, except for my mortgage and car loan.  I even topped up my RRSPs.  That left me with enough to put some into my TFSA.  But try as I might, I have had to dig into that this year and it is almost gone. I was just so worried yesterday that I even set myself up to answer surveys and so far, I’ve earned almost $10, but it took me several hours to do that yesterday.

When I woke up this morning, I realized that I was going about it all wrong.  Any time in my life, when I have gotten to when I thought was the precipice of financial disaster, something came up to save me.  I have to just let go and let God deal with it and I will be fine.  We had a chat this morning and agreed that I would continue to read the daily job alerts that I get and if the perfect job came up, I would know that it was the right thing to do.  I will leave the book sales and lottery winning up to God, because I seem to have no influence over getting money out of either of those!

If I were to win big, I already have so many plans for it--an actual church building for The Community Catholic Church of Canada, donations to the MS Society, Heart and Stroke, Cancer Society, Sick Kids Hospital, CNIB (maybe a few others), condos or houses for each of my two daughters and their stepsister, pay off my mortgage and car loan, do a few things around the house (I really need a rail for the front steps!) and travel a bit with Cavan, my kids and my friend Viv. I’m afraid that a big win wouldn’t last long with me!

In the meantime, I will let go and let God.  I have my ordination coming up soon and then the priest course and I am sure that all will get sorted out in due time.  Perhaps what I need to be doing, I cannot do until I am a deacon, or perhaps not until I am a priest. I just have to hold to the faith that things will get sorted out, which should be easy because it always has.

So, dear friends, find the strength you need to let go.  If you know the story of the footprints--there are two sets of footprints for some of your journey and one set of footprints, when you need to be carried, and in the more recent story, one set of footprints and drag marks, when you needed to be dragged kicking and screaming to where you needed to be.

Let go and let God. Watch for the signs, and all will be fine.  God bless!

Friends and Family

Happy Tuesday!  It’s been over a week since I last blogged, but I just had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.  It was a time for friends and family and, of course, lots of food!

I should firstly say, if you read my last blog, that I was reasonably proud of my gospel reading at church last weekend.  I have much to do before I stop stumbling over words, but I was pretty good.  The surprise of the day was this lovely lady I met in the kitchen of the church, when when was introduced to me said “I love your daily prayers on Facebook!  They are so timely and inspiring!”  I have to admit that it felt so good to know that someone that I had never even met before appreciated my daily prayer.

Fast forward to this past weekend and it was a great time for friends and family.  Saturday, we were at my Dad’s for a lovely dinner.  Sally provided the delicious ham and the rest of us contributed.  There was so much food!  It was awesome.  Even my daughters made it. I think there were 17 of us for dinner.

Sunday was a turkey dinner at my place for my daughters and Cavan, and Victoria (my daughters’ step sister), Shavoy and their darling little 5 week old baby Caleb.  I’m so glad that we were able to get together for a Thanksgiving dinner.  The turkey turned out great and Cavan put on a prime rib roast for him and Shavoy.  Alysse helped me a lot in the kitchen with meal preparation and cleanup.  There was a bit of a kerfuffle in the week, though.  I thought that no-one really liked the stuffing, so I wasn’t going to make any.  Fortunately, Alysse set me straight in time to get the supplies we needed to make the stuffing.  It turned out great!

Along with Alysse, we get to visit with Dallas her dog.  She had dropped the dog off on her way to Napanee, and since I had already put my cats into my bedroom with the door closed (it’s okay, I put a litter box in my ensuite bathroom and food in the bedroom), we let Dallas have the run of the house.  It wasn’t the best idea, because I didn’t think the dog could, or would, jump on the table or the counters.  Well, she jumped on the table and knocked the cover off the butter, licking the plate clean, ate some of the apple pie I baked, pooped on the carpet in the front room and threw up on the carpet in the living room.  Oh yes, and ate a whole row of cookies from the package on the counter.

Oh well, dogs will be dogs.  Alysse bought a new pie, although I told her it was not necessary. Anyway, Alysse went to visit with friends in Bailieboro Saturday night and feeling it was best, closed Dallas in the downstairs bathroom.  Well, the poor thing cried and cried, so I went downstairs, let her out and slept with her in the guest bedroom.  That went fine, until Dallas started throwing up on the bed at 6am, and the carpet got some too.  I have a new carpet cleaner, so bedclothes went into the washer and the rest was good as new after the carpet cleaner took care of it.  It seems that I need to learn to dog proof the house!  That’s okay, it’s likely the same as childproofing the house and Caleb is a ways from moving around on his own, so I’ll get good at it, I’m sure.

The holiday Monday was a rather quiet day--catching up on laundry and the last of the dishes.  Alysse had gone the night before to visit (taking Dallas with her, this time) with friends and came back at about noon, so we watched a couple of movies and had tea.  She headed back into the city after dinner.  It was so great to see the girls this weekend! I will be glad when Kaitlyn gets more time off, so that she can spend more than 24 hours with me.  She headed back into the city with Victoria, Shavoy and Caleb, Sunday night.

So, a good time was had by all, I believe.  I know that I had a good time and was so glad to see everyone.  Now we are back to regular routines, such as they are for someone who is retired.  Tomorrow, I am meeting with Rev. Karen Bellamy at Golden Plough Lodge.  I still believe that my ministry will be working with seniors, so I’m going to chat with her about what she does there.  Should be fun.

I pray that everyone has a gentle week.  God bless!

My Calling

Happy Saturday!  A Saturday blog this week, because I’m heading into the city tonight and then off to Elcho Church Sunday morning for a baptism.  I will be reading the Gospel at the service and, for the first time in public, wearing my clergy collar.

I haven’t invested much in clergy vestments yet, as I’m not quite sure where my calling will take me.  I believe, as I have for some time, that my calling is to work with elderly.  In that capacity, I don’t know if I will have much need for the collar, or any of the other vestments, but I guess that time will tell!

Ordination is only five weeks away, so I’m starting to poke around Cobourg for somewhere I can be useful.  I have been appointed to the Cobourg Accessibility Advisory Committee, so I have begun to find a place here.  I have also left a message for the chaplain at the Golden Plough Lodge here in Cobourg.  The Lodge is a long term care facility and I was pleased to see that they have a part time chaplain.  I thought that perhaps I could connect with her and even shadow her for a few days to see what it would be like working with the people there.

There are two other long term care facilities here in Cobourg.  One is about two minutes from home, and it might work for me to volunteer there, but I thought it might be useful to work with someone doing that already here, to get my feet wet.  I’ll see if she returns my call.  There is also a long term care facility downtown that I can look into. But again, I would like a little guidance.

I am, of course, a deacon in training, and I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of nice ladies from the local Jehovah's Witnesses, at my front door just yesterday.  One of them made a comment that lead me to believe that women are not deacons at the JW churches.  I know this to be true of the Roman Catholics, too.  It is quite unfortunate, as I know that many women feel called to be a member of a church in that capacity. I have heard that even the pope is entertaining the idea of allowing women clergy. It will be wonderful if that change does occur in my lifetime.

I had believed that my gift to God was my writing.  That is not because I have any ideas of grandeur in that capacity, but more because my writing is intended to bring the messages and stories of the Bible to small children.  I also feel drawn to working with the elderly. So, I hope that my direction becomes clearer over the next few weeks. Can I do both?  I suppose I can, but can I do both well?  Time will tell.

I’m not planning to self publish any more books.  It’s just too costly really and I just don’t seem to have the energy to put into the marketing that I need to do.  I’ll work at it a bit more, but the fact that it is taking hours of work to sell even a few books, it seems hardly worth it.  Perhaps it is this realization that is going to convince me that I should be focussing my energies on working with the elderly.  It would be my hope that I would see some benefits to my time there, where  I’m not seeing them with book sales.

Well, folks, off to get some chores done before I head into the city. May God bless you all and may God be with me as I deliver my first Gospel to a church congregation.