Birthdays

My birthday is July 12th.  Most years, I get really depressed at my birthday, not so much because I am another year older, but because I haven’t really accomplished anything worthwhile with my life.  

Not that I expect to cure cancer or anything that big, but I had this idea that everyone is here on this spinning planet for a good reason and that we should actually be doing something to make us worthy of being here.

Perhaps it’s age, or can I be so bold as to say wisdom?, but I got it in my head to actually think about the things I had done with my life.  I was thinking of things that I have actually been recognized for by other people.  It’s silly really have to have that justification for living.

I mean really!  I raised two daughters by myself and did it while dealing with multiple sclerosis.  That should count for something!  We all survived and both girls are out there as contributing members of society, living without me and surviving just nicely.

Interestingly enough, while a friend was visiting we got talking about success and I realized that despite what I have accomplished, I still don’t feel successful. Through the discussion, I realized that it comes down to this:  I can’t possible be successful if I am still living paycheck to paycheck.

I earn really good money, I get good bonuses, I buy my company’s shares every paycheck, I get good raises and my boss now even gives me extra shares at bonus time.  Of all the things I can do, why can’t I get on top of the debt?  That isn’t to say that I don’t pay more than the minimum on my debts, but something always comes up that throws me off.  I have failed!

So, I am just looking at it as my latest challenge and focussing on trying to be successful at managing debt.  It’s not like I buy or own all kinds of expensive things.  I’m kind of a Walmart kind of person.  I just can’t manage money and I need to!

This is my new year resolution--the new year of my life--get a handle on this!  I need to be able to retire and I’m going to try to push that date out for three years.  I just need the multiple sclerosis to co-operate and I’m good!

God bless you all, especially for reading my ramblings, and I pray that you isolate your greatest challenges and get the better of them!